Housework Getting Done By Calling Customer Service
"There is an unusual wait time. For faster service please go to our web site at youwaitsucker.com." (which isn't any faster after you've had to scroll from one page to the next).
Worse is the fake voice trying to have a conversation with you.
"Tell me what you need," the automated voice says.
You reply, "Customer service."
"I'm sorry, that is not an option. Tell me what you need."
"My money back."
"That is not an option. Tell me what you need."
Another automated system will match your phone number to your credit card. "I see the phone number you are calling with matches your credit card. Your balance is..." Click the conversation is completed, even though they haven't even assisted you. Though I'm an advocate for peace, I am surprised there have not been incidents of violence perpetrated onto phones and computers.
Lose your pin number and you might as well be stuck in Siberia without a jacket or a means of transportation.
How about when you spend an hour ordering items on the Internet and after filling out all the necessary information, you are told the sale cannot be completed due to some unforeseen glitch. Please come back in an hour.
And, please, someone tell me what are Captcha for?
And, please, someone tell me what are Captcha for? Sure, they're trying to determine if I'm actually a human being, but clicking over and over on pictures with cars in them, or typing in letters you can't read are not definitions of humanity, just some weird B.F. Skinner behavior modification tests to see how long you'll press the buttons.Online rebates are colonoscopies without anesthetic. It will only take you 10 to 15 minutes, they lie. After scanning in all the documents and filling out more online forms (with the same information on the scanned documents), you are told you don't qualify for a rebate. Or your rebate never shows up.
How about when your phone service tells you that you can use your phone overseas if you purchase a SIM card, and you rush through the Portugal airport to the closest phone conversion store only to be told your phone company put a lock on the system.
These are not outliers, unfortunately, these are the norms. Thus, when I need to tackle some issue which involves the phone or Internet, my blood pressure escalates to dangerous levels. It peaks when someone on the other end assumes I don't know what I am doing or tells me to clean out my cookies and cache.
They have made a friend for life
But have a real voice empathize with you, that can knock off a hundred points on the blood pressure scale (don't judge me, I'm not in the medical field). A real voice! That's more rare than finding platinum in your backyard. When they explain and don't judge you, they have made a friend for life.
That happened once in December and once in January. Both customer service representatives listened to my concerns and then did what they could do to help or explain. Only two times in two months, though I have been using the phone and Internet frequently with Christmas gifts and billing issues.
Corporate Greed
I don't want to scream "Corporate Greed," but when you face these problems over and over, it's hard not to feel that way. Even if I wish to make a customer complement it's like trying to climb the Himalayas to reach the correct source.Paying to have a real person behind the phone or computer, however, is expensive. Wages and insurance costs drive many companies to cozy up to Wanda or Arnold the automated computer voices.
Also, who really wants to answer a customer service call? Aren't most of the people calling going to scream and yell at the representative if they don't get their way? I screamed once - to an automated voice. It didn't help, just raised the BP.
Phone Calls Increase Prayers and Chores
To limit my frustration, I've incorporated a few actions before making the calls. First is a prayer. It goes something like this, "Okay, God, I think this is going to be irritating. Could you help me get through it and PLEASE help me not to shout or be rude to the person on the other end."Then I dial, put the phone on speaker and begin my chores: wash the kitchen floor, vacuum and dust the living room and dining room, clean the two bathrooms, vacuum up the stairs, clean my bedroom, go grocery shopping, put groceries away, and make a five course dinner. By the time I'm finished, someone usually shows up. I might have fallen asleep by then, but the sound of a real voice assuredly awakens me.
This works for phone calls, but navigating the web often means time ticking away as a web page slowly opens or scrolls to the next page. During these times I sometimes clean off my desk, sweep or vacuum my office, check my cellphone for texts from family members, exercise, eat breakfast, lunch and dinner, or slab hand cream on my dry hands.
I guess the phone and Internet are actually helping me get some work done around the house. Maybe I should thank them instead of shouting at them. It might even lower my blood pressure if I plan ahead with my cleaning supplies in hand before making the phone call. Have a great weekend - and get some work done around the house by calling some dreaded customer service hotline. Remember, two negatives (house cleaning and customer service phone calls) make a positive. +
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