Reclaiming Valentine's Day

On my way home from dropping Genevieve off at early choir, two radio hosts discussed Valentine's Day. One of the hosts, a divorced woman, claimed she hated the holiday, and presented a list of why it was better to remain single. Not getting married until in my thirties, I appreciated her perspective, but pondered the significance of this day.
     In the United States, Valentine's Day has become the florists', greeting card companies', and restaurants' money making holiday where couples feel pressured to display their love by doling out cash. You hear a lot of griping this time of year. 
     "This is just Hallmark's way of making money" (I was thinking this when looking at their $7.99 cards).
     "My wife knows I love her, why do I have to spend so much on flowers?"
     "Who has time to go out for dinner?" 
     The holiday has its roots in an actual person,  Saint Valentine, who was beheaded on this day for illegally witnessing the marriages of Roman couples. His love was not romantic love, but he loved his church and the sacrament of marriage so much that he was willing to sacrifice his life.
     Isn't that what love is supposed to be?

No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends (John 15:13 NABRE).

     Valentine's has morphed into a romantic holiday probably because it was linked to marriages, but St. Valentine's actions tell us that we are all called to demonstrate our love for all people, not just our significant others. 
     Many of you may be thinking you do this already so why do you need a special day? You don't, but sometimes the grind of daily living needs a little halt to it with something special. We call these holidays. Lynn Stuart Parramore wrote in her blog, Why a Medieval Peasant Got More Vacation Time Than You, that the church established days of rest for peasants. I don't know what their motivation was, but it demonstrated the need to break up the monotony of life.
    More importantly, this holiday, if we remove the romantic stereotypes, is a physical reminder to put love in the forefront of our lives and culture. With all the vitriolic rhetoric tweeted or spoken by politicians, media outlets, or famous people, aren't we all in need of more love in our lives?
     The symbols, however, are empty if we don't plan to love (or be kind) to the person we are giving the Valentine to. In elementary school some of my classmates handed out Valentine cards, but on the playground, those same kids teased me. That is almost as pathetic as the man or woman giving Valentine gifts in anticipation of getting something (sex?) back in return. 
     It is also troubling when some people receive a plethora of Valentine greetings, while their co-workers or classmates stare out at the empty spaces around them. I don't begrudge the person receiving these gifts, but it's painful for those not remembered. This happens a lot in high schools where they sell flowers to students to be sent to other classmates. The popular kids usually get flowers galore, while the less than popular kids get nothing. 
     I believe the situations I've mentioned above are often why many despise this holiday. Some people feel rejected if they have no one that "loves" them enough to give them something. 
     Some already know the secret, but finding love on Valentine's Day means to hand it out. Send cards to people in hospitals or nursing homes. Make special Valentine treats and share them with your neighbors or co-workers. Prepare a special dinner for your own family and present little gifts to your spouse and children. Don't wait for the chocolate or flowers to appear - buy some (or make your own) and pass them around.
     There was a teacher at our daughters' school who made sure every girl (sorry, boys) at the school received a carnation on Valentine's Day. My daughters were so impressed and felt important. What a positive message to send to these young people especially during this vulnerable time of their life.
     What if someone rejects your overtures? Pray for them and move on. There is someone out there in need of your Valentine. Happy Valentine's Day. May you all be filled with abundant joy, peace, and love. 

Just a little note. Someone requested my novel, Waves, which didn't get published by Kindle Scout. If you know me personally, I will email you a copy of the manuscript. Just mail me a check or give me $3.00. I only ask that you do not share it with others. If you have your email account on your handheld device, you can actually open the novel and read it. For all the rest of you, I am trying to see how we can work this for your purchase online. Be patient and please pray for my efforts. Thank you.